The Importance of Being Earnest or at least a good networker

My cousin was in the Oscar Wilde play, "The Importance of Being Earnest", many moons ago. It is a classic of tale of living double lives and the ensuing confusion that is created when the main characters try to keep all the balls in the air, maintaining the ruse for as long as possible.  So how does this light comedy apply to networking, dare you ask?

With the advent of social networks or online networks as I will call them here, would you say that there are different protocols for how you behave online versus off-line networking?  Is one more important than the other?  What is all the hullabaloo about online networking anyway?  Why are some people so resistant to the online version of the mixer/party/lunch that has been used since the beginning of time to create relationships?

Aah, there it is.  The magic word that we don't hear very often when we talk about using Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn - relationships.  In the past we exclusively used telephone, letters and direct meetings to communicate and develop relationships, both personal and business (and it's still important to meet people face to face today even if it's through using Skype).  And they were mostly private unless you were a member of the mob with the FBI tapping your phones or your little brother found that pile of letters in a sock drawer from a boyfriend or someone was eavesdropping on a private conversation when they weren't supposed to be.  But compared to today with online networking, most conversations happen right out in the middle of the proverbial town square.  We are all now town criers, sharing information about all varieties of happenings.  But are we creating relationships that are of the same quality as before or are we just more egotistical in that we feel that what we have to say is so important that everyone needs to hear it?

The key is in the word relationship.  Just as we all have many roles to play in our over-busy lives, we have many types and levels of relationship.  How many times have you held back an opinion to a friend or opened your heart to your significant other where you would have never done the reverse?  The trick to managing your relationships online follows along how you would handle things off-line.  How you create and nurture your relationships requires many tools.  I would venture to say that it is important to use all the same tools online when connecting with others just as you would use off-line.  Just as we have off-line "friends" and "connections", understand that it is the content and your intent that make the relationship that you want it to be.

So when you feel that you want to be earnest and not Ernest, make sure that you pay attention to what you are saying and how you go about saying and who you want to say it to.  Your method of delivery, the channel you choose and the words you say will make all the difference in the impact that you make with the people in your life.  And we haven't even begun to talk about the difference in approaching someone in real life versus virtual life.  If you have thoughts about the fears of talking to a relative stranger in person versus on an online network, make a comment!