Taking chances with building networks and relationships

It never ceases to amaze me how small the world is when you are out in it.  How many times have you been out socially and start talking to someone then realize that you have something in common?  Maybe it's a connection from a job, a favorite event, from community happenings or even high school or college.  I seem to run into people that see themselves as either good or bad at networking.  And most folks seem to think that it's because they are either introverted or extroverted.  I would suggest it has more to do with fear than a personality characteristic.

Last night I went to a casual happy hour at a new friend's house (a friend that I actually made on Twitter because we had similar career experiences).  This was a lesson in NOT turning down an invitation.  This was a small get-together (all of 7 of us) and it turned out that I had occasion to make a real life contact with one of the seven that I had been trying to reach through email.  I'm not sure that this was done on purpose by our host (if so, thanks J.), yet it was a great opportunity to ask about getting together later to discuss local business opportunities in a more appropriate setting.

During a training class a few months ago, I was nonchalantly asking this trainer who was oddly enough teaching about networking about his "escape" from the corporate world.  Before you knew it, we were talking about how we were on campus at San Diego State University, in the SAME major, at the same time during our undergraduate days.  This has led to a sense that we are from the same "community", talk some of the same language and instantly started building trust that I am sure will last a long time.

So what's the point of all this?  The simple lesson is to overcome your fears.  Do not refuse an invitation where you will have the chance to meet new people.  You never know where that next great connection will occur.  And it takes practice and the right intention to create a relationship that will be give-and-take.  And, just relax about it!  There is too much pressure in that you "only have one chance to make a good first impression".  I would argue that what's more appropriate is more like, "what have you done for me lately?".  Sports is a great analogy.  How many times have superstars been booed off the field or court for one lousy performance.  And what do they do?  They dust off and get right back into the game.  In the networking game, you can do that too.